Why did I wait for so long to see it?

I don’t know why! Well, I’ve finally managed to see Brokeback Montain this week and I couldn’t sleep all night. I’ve had to watch it twice more and I feel like watching it every day. I had never read any comments here about this movie, so I can say I wasn’t influenced by anybody ? I actually didn’t know what to expect. What can I say? It’s amazing how my feelings are similar to those of most people here ? I just can’t get this story out of my head! I was probably a bit skeptical about the effectiveness of this film and its importance in the history of gay-themed pictures, but I’ve changed my mind completely. Now I do think it’s probably one of the most interesting, fascinating and realistic stories about homosexual love ever told on screen. Ang Lee doesn’t judge anyone in the story (and every character can be blamed or understood for something) and homosexuality is portrayed in one of its basic aspects: to feel love and desire for someone who is of the same sex. But I also agree with those who think it’s not only about homosexuality. Actually this story involves many universal themes: love ? of course, but also loneliness, failures, the crosses we have to bear in life, poverty. I feel like crying every time I think about Brokeback Mountain and, adding the great cinematography and the stunning acting from all the main players, I can definitely say it’s one of my favorite movies ? forever! I’ve always been melted by love stories (I should mention George Cukor’s ‘Camille’ and Edmund Goulding’s ‘The Old Maid’ among my favorite pictures) but no movie has ever exercised such a lasting impact on me, and I really feel changed after watching it (you know, I’m gay, so it’s not about having prejudices against homosexual love). Here are some of my favorite scenes: -the violence and tenderness between Ennis and Jack when they have a fight just before leaving Brokeback Mountain for the first time; -their first kiss after four years ? the most moving screen kiss I’ve ever seen; -their last quarrel, Ennis crying and recognizing the failures of his life but, most of all, the flashback showing Ennis hugging Jack and singing a sort of lullaby and Jack’s face while he looks Ennis leaving with his horse ? it broke my heart! -from this moment on, everything ? Ennis’s phone call to Jack’s wife, visiting Jack’s parents, until his last close up and his tearful promise to his lover.

Wonderful, but at the moment I feel as if I’ll never be able to ease the pain it has caused to me ? it’s as if I didn’t want to forget anything about it.