Nolan does an Armageddon

SPOILER FREE BEGINS *********

I had a sneaking feeling that Christopher Nolan was a director who wasn’t particularly good at staging emotional sequences, nor had a special skill in staging action sequences nor has consistency in his screen writing which may range from mediocre (The Dark Knight Rises and overall logical setup of the Batman series) or sublime (Memento, Inception). What always worked for Nolan was that his movies were always interesting and always intriguing and if the script was any good, he made classics.

Interstellar represents a colossal failure of Nolan on every front imaginable. Let’s start with the plot which is the most looked forward thing in his movies. The plot involving the World’s end and the attempt to save it via Interstellar travel is so hokey that you may think you are watching a Michael Bay movie. If you could complain about “Gravity”s leaps of logic, then you will realize there is absolutely no physical logic in this script. The story is a Galaxy sized plot hole. The sad part is that it isn’t even original which you would come to expect from the Nolan Brothers. It’s a bad mishmash of Gravity, Coherence, 2001 a Space Odyssey and Contact book ended by a cringe inducing emotional thread that it will compel you to flay your hands in the air over the inept acting, dialogues, staging, and poor editing, story and what not. If you were expecting an “Inception” than don’t, Interstellar has the most contrived sci- fi plot in existence coupled with bad acting. It’s Armageddon with a sense of higher purpose. At least I enjoyed Armageddon.

SPOILER FREE ENDS ********

Now back to the plot points. Lets talk about the plot. The world is ending, and I could not fathom why, nor could Nolan show us the World in a broad sense apart from one single corn field farm in the middle of nowhere which conveniently houses an ultra secret project by NASA. If the world is ending, who will save it? Of course the “Aliens” or “They” (insert oooooooooooh). I thought the movie would involve humans discovering Interstellar travel.I never went into the movie thinking that a huge big ass Worm Hole was conveniently placed by 5- Dimensional unexplained aliens as a convenient plot device to jump into the whole space travel thingy. How hokey is that? And the hokum continues with supremely bad exposition ever committed on screen with fellow astronauts explaining how worm holes work (“Ah it’s shaped like a sphere!) or how time dilation works in relativity theory. It seems like none of Johnathan or Christopher could truly grasp how these concepts should work in the context of the film and hence these appear as contrived elements in the service of producing cheap thrills (“oh we lost so many years”).

And talking about cheap thrills, can anyone possibly out there condone how stupid the middle reveal was with our famous cameo from a famous actor? Okay let’s talk about the ending. One can apparently fly into a black hole, make contact with 5-Dimensional entities who will present you a menu of quantum states of possibilities in order to save the world by how? How? By transmitting some mumbo-jumbo data via Morse Code through a ticking hand of a watch to a woman on the other side of the space time continuum so that she can umm fit it into the equation? or was it a constant? what is a 5 pager formula? How did it work? Hokey as hell.

And the visuals? Oh the problem is since Gravity came out and took the crown of the best space visuals in the last 5 years, what could Instellar do? Well lets have some obviously fake looking CGI dust clouds. Have your space ship fly over a Windows wallpaper of Saturn. How was any of it “Original”? Let’s look at the planet. One has Water with a fake wall of waves, one has simply ice. That’s it. Water and Ice. Where did you spend your money on Mr Nolan? Oh the Robots were hilarious but you would cringe in your seats thinking how a rectangular block of moving pillar was a good Robot Design and how the poor chap was managing to run on flat ground.

And the acting? Cringeworthy Mumblecore.

I don’t think even the fanboys can save this one.

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