maybe on jakku it’s an 82, on earth it’s about a 4

.. after Mel Brooks in Spaceballs. J.J.Abrams should have stuck to something he does not kill. The Force in this case.

If there would be justice, this movie would never have been created due to copyright infringement. Except that those rich enough can buy up anything, strip it from the essential values and present a much worse version, erasing the past.

The original from 77′ was a classic: reinvention of the sci-fi genre, storyline, visuals, morality. This one was obviously hyped by global branding worthy of the 21st century. And that’s exactly the issue: a 10 for marketing, but a mediocre 6 for the actual product, the movie, which in my book means a 2, just to pull the odds straight on a fair voting result. Here’s the why: 1. Storyline: an EXACT copy of Episode 4, the first Star Wars movie ever made! Poor hero(ine) coincidentally meets droid that holds plan that is key to master plan – meet Han Solo / Chewbacca – meet forces of good – fighting forces of evil where black-masked prime-evil guy turns out to be family member – while fighting evil dude on bridge, planet-sized planet-destroying machine needs to be destroyed, before it erases all the good guys – fighter plane fight after disabling shielding device – shooting in tunnel – last-minute destruction of monstrosity by hitting it with a few loose guns at its core, which is practically unprotected. Everything is EXACTLY THE SAME in this sequel, almost 40 years after having made the first such movie, when the whole story was still original! This obviously shows the intent to address the second and third generation of kids, the children of those who saw the original. It adds absolutely nothing however in originality.

2. Casting: having said it’s a rip-off, it doesn’t stop there. Aged actors from the original movie (Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Mark Hamill, Best Friend Chewbacca) line up to remind us that this IS Star Wars. This time around however to appeal to the “elder” generation: those who were kids when they first watched SW and should now feel connected enough to keep bringing their kids to the remaining two episodes as well.. The younger actors (Finn, Rey, Kylo Ren) however are just a joke. While Finn is the funny guy who needs to appeal to insecurities in all of us and never takes off his surprised-look mask (despite chopping up half the galaxy while he’s “doing the right thing”), Rey is the next-gen copy of Luke Skywalker, except it’s the 21st-cent politically correct (female) version that speaks as if she just left drama class, but despite the haughtiness of noblesse, feels the need to stomp around like a fishwife. Unlike the ?old Luke”, she is a modern control-freak, the emancipated girl-power type, sweat dripping in buckets by the effort of balancing femininity with the pseudo-liberal BS of “equality”. Literally the actress is overwhelmed by her role and she simply overdoes it where most would have failed anyway, but better casting would still have saved some face. Third in row is the hysterical spoiled brat Kylo Ren, who sounds quite cool while still in his mask, if only he would not behave like a 5 year old who is easier manipulated than a puppy and looses the sinister image as soon as he takes off his mask and starts smashing furniture at the slightest setback. Reminds us of the same mistake made with using Hayden Christensen who played Anakin Skywalker turning from naive kid to hurt adolescent in Episode 3. Shouldn’t that have been a sign for J.J.Abrams not to make the same mistake of taking away coolness from a Jedi?.. Breaking kitchenware will hardly appeal to any 21st century kid when the prime-evil character needs a touch of coolness. I don’t even go into detailing the new “wise” CGI character of the 21st century politically-correct (female) version of Yoda, a passing whim with not a fraction of Yoda’s charisma, despite being 1000 years of age. Oh, the glasses..yeah, I guess that makes her wise. Just shows how poor of a job the director did, if a character needs glasses to gain some respect from the viewer. Maybe a tattoo like “I’m the smartest chick around the block” would have been even more obvious J.J., on her forehead! To sum up the cast(rat)ing change: while almost 40 years ago we had a kid with hidden talents and a strong sister who finally melted by the charms of a bounty hunter, with the most bad-ass black-masked Evil of all times, J.J.Abrams now gave us panicky Finn, angry Rey and hysterical K-ren.. Just shows you Hollywood does not want role-models kids could look up to but gives them excuses for being like a wet rag.

3. Dialogues and character development: repetitive, simplistic jokes that were trendy when they first appeared by Spielberg in the eighties in the Indiana Jones franchise. Are they still cool 30 years later?.. If J.J. Abrams partners with Spielberg in the future, I would understand his urge to comply with the Master of Hollywood’s flat directing style at the cost of authenticity, but for everyone else it’s time travel backwards and not in a nostalgic sense.

The movie and the reviews show that it pays off to totally remake a movie with no originality, poor acting, not even using minor storyline techniques to show anything new, brainwashing the audience to even reviewing it positively and not even to be punished for it. It’s cheap, it’s a disgraceful abuse of an original idea and all the energy put into the original movie and makes me wonder why this should be allowed in the first place. At any case, it robs a whole generation that grew up with Star Wars from its past, to replace it with a cheap remake.

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