Because it is real

Everyone has already shed tears over a beloved friend or family member. Nobody says anything. It is accepted by society to mourn our fellow men. But if you sit in the cinema and start to cry because your favourite character has died, the only thing that happens is that people look at you funnily.
Why should you mourn something that isn’t real?

But…

Fictional characters are real.
The people that follow their stories make them real.
They are not only in the pages of books or words or sentences of their stories.
They are not just in the pixels on the cinema screen.
They are in the minds of the readers and fans too.
That makes them real.

As a bookworm I have seen more death than a normal human being is supposed to see.
I love to get to know new characters, really get to know them. The facts that are provided by the books or movies, are just secondary. Those are easy to figure out. The things that really matter are those which you don’t see immediately. If you like a character or not, is not defined by his or her looks or how he or she speaks. It’s about the details that are barely recognized, how he reacts when his mother dies, the way he looks at the woman he loves. Every character is also created through the individual ideas of every person who starts to think about the character.

If a character, that you formed in your mind, has accompanied you for a few thousand pages, then the moment he or she dies is the worst thing that could happen to you. Because it isn’t the death of a character, but of a friend.
If you read the last pages of a book and don’t want to reach the end, if you rebel against the end, than the creator has done everything right.
The sad thing is if you do so many things right, you can do so many things wrong and spread pain easier.
I’m not that disillusioned to say that a character’s death is as cruel as a real one. No, I may dramatize, but it hurts none the less.
Most deaths aren’t just sad because they are sad, but because it may have happened out of heroic courage and you wish to act like that sometimes or because it was tragic, because of love, or because you are afraid that the same illness could be your end.

So, Marvel, I want to tell you something: You have not only ripped my heart out of my chest. No! You threw it on the ground and stepped on in!
Not very gentlemanlike.

Let me start with… the worst death of them all.
Loki.
Mr Hiddleston, you are the very reason, why I have become a Marvel fan.
Something about your character fascinated me from the start. It was the moment of hesitation when faced with the destruction of New York, the fury about the betrayal of the own family and the deceptive smile when a lie was involved. He is the kind of villain, whose backstory is so well-written that you pity him. But slowly the pity was replaced with sympathy. With every movie, with every scene and with every discussion with Thor I stumbled deeper into this sympathy and I began to ask myself how it could be that the villain is more popular than the hero. I didn’t find an answer except, that it must be you.
We both know Loki just had one wish in the bottom of his heart: to do the right thing. Just sometimes to do the right thing differed from Tony Stark’s opinion or Thor’s or Captain America’s. But he wanted to do the right thing, for himself, for his mother, for Odin, even if he couldn’t understand it sometimes and tried to hard. So much that he suffered for it, that he killed for it, that he died for it.
I started to cry after the first five minutes of the movie and haven’t stopped ever since. I have seen Loki die quite a few times now, but this time it felt so final.
I thank you, Mr Hiddleston. You have let Loki live and let him die like he would’ve wanted: glorious and as a hero.
But not just as a hero, but as an Avenger.
We have a Hulk.
In that moment Loki was an Avenger for me, too.

Tom, you have stolen a part of my heart when you took Captain America’s shield. Peter Parker is so juvenile, and already so heroic. He jumped out of that bus without hesitation and flew up into space. Of course he didn’t listen to Tony Stark. I must say I somehow suspected Loki’s death, but your improvised »I don’t want to go« scene hit me harder than a punch from the Hulk. I mean, we just got to know you (and fell a little bit in love with you) and what will aunt May say? When you were knighted as an Avenger you looked so proud and then…
We need our friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man! I need it! Marvel, you have already taken Loki from me, don’t take Spider-Man as well.

Mr Cumberbatch, I must say it’s pretty unfair, that only you know the end. I don’t envy you, that you had to bring so much pain to us with the direction Dr Strange took. But I do envy you for your cloak.

Life is short. It can be over with a snap of ones finger. But even shorter was the reunion between Bucky and Steve. To kill Bucky once in front of Steve’s eyes with his name on the lips is one thing, but twice? Well, fool me once… By the way, the beard looks great, Mr Evans. You had the most brilliant of all entrances in the Marvel history. The music was the trigger for this goose bump filled movie moment. Well done, Mr Silvestri! It was as if you wrote the main theme all those years ago just for this scene. The rest of the movie was provided with wonderful music, too. Especially Thanos had his musical highlights.

Mr Hemsworth, next time please do aim higher.

Mr Pratt, I’m not going to talk to you. I will not hold the actions of your character against you either – he just lost the love of his life – but I’m still not going to talk to you.

I never expected that there would be one moment in this movie, where I would see Thanos as something else than a mad mass murderer. There was this one moment where I felt pity for him. When he killed the one thing that he loved. But this moment was over quickly, because who ever really loves, wouldn’t kill for it. The simple thought would repel him. Which makes Gamora’s sacrifice even more tragic. After this second of pity I understood that her death didn’t happen out of love, but out of lust for power by a monster.

There were good, no great, moments too. Like every time Thor called Rocket a rabbit (well, rabbit is at least more accurate than fox) or Dr Strange and Tony discussed something and you asked yourself, which one demands Watson first.
Generally when a narcissistic smart-arse, an arrogant genius and an ironic space criminal had a scene together and tried to save the universe, of course it had to go wrong.
I don’t know if I find Rocket’s idea of stealing Bucky’s arm incredibly hilarious or just suicidal.
Surprisingly I wished to be a nano particle of Tony’s suit just to see something that beautiful up close.
There is only one explanation for Tony’s fathers feelings: Peter. He had a suit for that boy on alert, maybe even for weeks and then the first thing he does is to assure that Peter is safe. It didn’t work that well, but if Tony doesn’t get the chance to marry Pepper and have kids with her (and make Peter the godfather) then… I can’t even say that it will break my heart… it already has.
Mr Downey jr., you’re the beginning of the MCU, please make sure that its end, especially the end of certain heroes, will not come too soon.

Let’s talk about all the strong and wonderful women in this movie! Shuri can beat you up easily while she lists all the decimal places of pi. Not only Shuri but General Okoye is a picture of feminism.
Wanda made the biggest progress in my opinion. She became aware of her own strength, her powers and her feelings. She takes responsibility, but has to carry pain too. To kill the man you love… not everybody can do that.
Natasha is Natasha. I think there is nobody who has a drier sense of humor than her.
Gamora has the most tragic end, but I think it is great that the relationship between her and Thanos was explained and why she became one of the key characters of the movie.

I asked myself if it wasn’t just a crossover between all the Marvel movies, but if there was a little bit of Harry Potter (I wanted to cast a Patronus on Red Skull), Star Wars (the space ships with those creatures looked a lot like star destroyers to me) and Lord of the Rings (I somehow felt strongly reminded of the Hobbit when Thor was in the forge) mixed in as well.

A lot characters didn’t get their fair share, but even I can see that it would have been difficult to give every one his entitled screen time. Especially with the discussion that this would cause between the golden trio of »my plan is better than yours«. Where as it would’ve shortened the waiting time until the next movie gradually.

I cannot quite put into words how this movie made me feel.
Empty, worn down, infinitely sad, betrayed.
But I left the cinema with a spark of hope, although, with tears in my eyes but hopeful.
For Thanos, the sun rose in the end. It will shine for the Avengers again, too.
For Bucky, Sam, Groot, Mantis, Drax, Peter, T’Challa, Wanda, Dr Strange, Gamora, Vision, Spiderman and Loki.
I am sure about that. There will be a new start, that is what the sunrise stands for, right?
For something new.
Maybe we have to live with the fact that it will be different now, that it will not be like before.
We have to trust Dr Strange. It had to be like this, there was no other way. But this sunrise shows us that even the darkest hours will end.
In the end there was a ray of hope.
And light will always banish the darkness.
As Loki said: »I assure you, brother, the sun will shine on us again.«

Dear Avengers,

you are our light and we will carry your light onward even when you cannot, when you are parted and torn apart by grief.
The moment on the last page has not come yet.
We can turn the page now and begin a new chapter.
Because you are our light.
And this light will never go out.
Do you know why?

Because it is real.