An abomination

I put the spoiler alert… but there is little to spoil here. It’s just something that should never have been filmed. It’s my fault, a friend of mine warned me. And I remember I didn’t care, “it’s Star Wars, I even enjoyed the I, II, III… When I see the logo and the music starts… they should really try very hard to ruin it for me. What can they do so bad?” Well…

They destroy everything Star Wars was about:

The Force as a mystical thing? Now it’s just “superpowers”, and you don’t need to train. You have them, that’s all. And even a spoiled brat with daddy issues has, sometimes, more powers than Yoda or Palpatine… Of course, only sometimes.

Sense? None. They go for a map to find a guy that run away (and for some reason left a map???) and the reason is… is… why is that important to find him? Specially when there is a new Death Star to be destroyed? No reason at all. Because it’s Luke. That’s it.

Dark side vs Light side? Now, the “new heroin” beats the bad guy without any training, because she’s really angry. I guess, in some place, Palpatine was laughing “yes, use your anger”… But in this new Star Wars is OK, she has superpowers, that’s all. You don’t need calm to control the Force and, in fact, it’s the bad guy who gets tempted by the light side… WTH???????

Consistency with TRotJ? If the Rebels won, shouldn’t the “bad guys” be the new “rebels”? No, they are pretty much the Empire. What happened? Why? Don’t expect any answer in the flick. Somebody told me it’s supposed to be explained somewhere. I don’t care. If you need web pages or books just to explain the main plot of a movie, that movie is really bad storytelling. Period.

Great villains? (Vader, Maul, Palpatine…) Now the villain is a kid with anger control and daddy issues, some pathetic little kid not even stormtroopers respect. They give them more “superpowers” than Yoda and Palpatine together, they made him kill the most iconic Star Wars character, just to try to make him look bad-ass… And yet, you just want to ask him for him lunch money. Just pathetic. The character and the effort of Abrams to make him charismatic.

The first time we saw Vader he just walked, looked around… and we knew you shouldn’t mess with him. No need for superpowers. That’s called being “charismatic”. This guy is the new Jar Jar, but worst. Jar Jar wasn’t meant to be scary.

And stupid. The poor guy wants to be like Vader… The same Vader that saved the day at the end of the OT and ended up being a good guy???? That Vader????

Adventures? as we already know the plot of the movie… not so much.

Great settings? A desert. Woodlands. That’s all. Even if you didn’t like the episodes I, II, III, you have things to enjoy: Naboo, Coruscant… Here… NOTHING. No new design to awe you. TIES, X- Wings… that’s all. The Galaxy just got really, really small.

The first minutes, with the Star Destroyers in the desert, are OK. The rest… I could only thing “please, I really want this to end already”. It felt like a 10 hour movie to me. The only thing OK was Solo and we all know how that ended… My brain just couldn’t understand why the Star Wars music was in this B-Rate bad pilot for a TV series. And the worst of all, when it ended… The silence in the cinema. And i felt… dirty, but emotionally flat. I don’t feel anger towards the movie or Abrams. I didn’t feel anything. With the pass of the weeks I ended up feeling something: sadness.

I really can’t understand why people with half a brain can say this is not a disgrace and even argue is one of the best. I really can’t. For me… it’s just the end. I’ll enjoy the first 6 movies and try to forget this disgrace. I really felt dirty when the movie finished. Disney can forget about my money. And I write this several weeks after wasting my money for this… thing.

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